i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
A+ Viking dick
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
