I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
