we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
