i already hear my dad disowning me
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
NoShamevember. You game?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
