sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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