Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
