I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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