Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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