you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
