At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
