so let's talk penis.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Randomize
