its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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