there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
