her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
