If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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