So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
