I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
