I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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