I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Someone signed my nipple.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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