She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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