Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
