That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
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We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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