hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
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Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
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A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
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