just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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