I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
