i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
