dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
