if i can run in heels then i can drive
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Mom said you looked used
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
