Who did Billy Mays play for?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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