We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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