I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
