Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
