Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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