I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
