Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
