A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
