i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
