that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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