sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
