so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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