My sheets look like a crime scene.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
