Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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