I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize