I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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