Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
