why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
