Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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