My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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