Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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