i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
