Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
