Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize