thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
