if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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