STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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