I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
