I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
