i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
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He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
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Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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